Jeremy Clarkson issues brutal one-word verdict after co-star Kaleb Cooper’s ‘announcement’

Jeremy Clarkson has been putting the Maserati Grecale through its paces, calling the egg-yellow paint job a £3,840 option ‘you should avoid’ as Clarkson’s Farm star Kaleb Cooper praises Birmingham
With nearly four decades as a distinguished motoring journalist under his belt, Jeremy Clarkson has put hundreds of vehicles through their paces. His most recent test subject, which he has been driving on his commutes between London, Cheltenham and Birmingham, is the Maserati Grecale. However, the seasoned Top Gear host encountered a notable issue with the formidable Italian SUV. While he had a couple of minor gripes, his biggest grievance was the initial impression it made.
“The worst problem was the egg-yellow paint job, a £3,840 option you should avoid,” Jeremy writes in the Sunday Times. “This is a colour that works well on the cover of a car magazine because it catches the eye.

“But in the real world,” he adds, “it doesn’t work well at all because people will point at you with baffled faces and say, ‘Why does that man have an egg-yellow Toyota?’

In a world where virtually every vehicle is the same unremarkable silvery grey, Jeremy would have stood out like a sore thumb on the M6 as he travelled to Birmingham – a city that Clarkson’s Farm favourite Kaleb Cooper has boldly described as “the best city in the world,” a description that Clarkson brutally described as “hilarious”.

He said: “And I was going to be spending a lot of time in the real world because, in my week with the car, I had to make two trips to London, one to Cheltenham, and one to Birmingham, which, as Kaleb announced last week, hilariously, ‘is the best city in the world.'”

Despite his reservations about the £113,000 vehicle, he ultimately walked away with a broadly positive overall verdict. He was particularly impressed by the capability to switch off various “driver assistance” functions, such as warning sounds that alert motorists who exceed the speed limit or cut a corner.
“It seems the Italians have looked at the law that says the driver must ‘perform a series of functions’ to disable these things each time he starts the engine,” Jeremy says, explaining that he had discovered a straightforward method to deactivate the additional technology.

He wryly remarked that an Italian professor previously told him: “You can have as many laws as you like in Italy, just so long as they are not enforced.”
Among its driving aids, the Grecale provides sophisticated parking assistance, featuring a 360-degree surround-view camera, front and rear parking sensors, and rear active braking. All that innovation might have proved useful for one member of the public who had her parking abilities ridiculed by the Top Gear legend himself.

Marianka Swain, who readily admits that she’s a “terrible driver,” revealed a humiliating incident when she was “attempting to parallel park for the seventh time” close to her family residence.

While the manoeuvre proves difficult for numerous motorists, she acknowledges she had the “space the size of a football pitch” at her disposal.

During the “tearful” incident, she remembers hearing a “shout of laughter” from the street. She said: “I peered out of the window to see none other than Jeremy Clarkson doubled over in merriment at my pathetic efforts.”

Marianka confesses she “wanted to die” upon noticing the former Top Gear host on the pavement with a raised eyebrow. His demeanour, she believed, implied she should “have another rubbish go.”
Admitting defeat, she recalled how she “slunk down in my seat and begged my driving instructor to take over.” She went on to say: “This elicited a loud snort from Clarkson and a hearty ‘Pathetic.’ And off he strode.”